CULTIVATING TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH STUDENTS:

As educators, the most important job we have is to develop a positive, trusting relationship with the students we teach or counsel. Without that, we truly cannot move forward in any significant way. In other words, our impact will be nonexistent, or minimal at best. No matter how much information we wish to teach or impart upon our students, it will most likely fall upon deaf ears.

So how do we connect and begin to cultivate these relationships? All of us, no matter what age, need to experience connections with others in our world that provide a sense of consistency, safety, and routine, that will allow us to trust. Hopefully the students have experienced these connections in their homes before coming to school, but unfortunately, as many of us already know, that is often not the case.

When children do feel this sense of safety, the hormone,oxycontin is released into their brain.This, in turn helps provide a sense of well-being and plays a role in helping them to form social bonds and trust others.In other words, it gives them the warm,fuzzies and helps to lower both stress and anxiety. Thus, preparing the ground for a healthy,trusting relationship.

So how can we, as counsellors, or teachers create these trusting relationships with students?

Firstly, we must understand that emotion and learning are totally connected. Therefore, we must work every day to develop a trusting relationship with our students. If we don’t have this trust , then we cannot move forward in any positive way. Just like us, if we have a bad start to our day, it is going to impact the rest of your day in some way, shape, or form. Our students are no different. 

So, trying to teach them when they may have had a big blow out at home the night before or just before they left for school that morning, does not equate to an open mind for learning.

So what are some ways you can connect with your students so they begin to trust and feel safe in your presence?

How do you get to a place where you truly know your students? 

Well it does take time and energy on your part, but it truly pays off in the long run.

Let’s just start with the Basics! And I’m not talking about reading, writing and Math!

1. Start Small:  Get out from behind your desk. Be with the students. At the beginning and end of the day, and between classes, greet and welcome them at your classroom door with a smile, a high five, a funny joke, or a compliment.

2. Observe! Observe! Observe! What is their body language telling you? Are they looking at the floor when they speak to you? How do they sit at their desks? How is their hygiene? Do they make eye contact with you? 

   
   

3.  Be Interested in who they are and what they do both inside and outside of school, so you can ask about their games, competitions etc. and cheer them on, and compliment them when you catch them doing good deeds.

   
   

4. Find creative ways to celebrate them so they know you care about them not just doing well academically, but as a valued person. 

5. Develop Class Routines: Routines make us all feel good as we know what to expect and provides us a sense of safety, and reduces anxiety.

6. Provide a private way for your students to communicate with you,  i.e.  a dropbox where they can write the best thing about their day, and the worst or hardest thing about their day. Make this a daily ritual.

   
   

7. Look for every opportunity to celebrate them, both academically and otherwise.

   
   

8. Use Humor: Laughing is good medicine for everyone and releases endorphins which are great for stress.

   
   

9. Be Authentic : Kids have the best  B. S. detectors.

   
   

10. Be A Role Model Don’t be afraid to make a mistake and when you do, owe up to it.